Claiming The One (Meadowview Heat 3; The Meadowview Series 3) Page 5

  Underneath him, Lizzie moaned. She clutched at his back with shaking hands and he responded, mouthing her breast through the fabric of her dress. In the back of his mind, he could hear his conscience arguing, telling him he should stop—should pull away and calm things down, tell her about Abbie and then see if she still wanted sex.

  “Hunter.” Her voice trembled and he edged further into that surreal place where logic meant nothing and the past lived on.

  Hell. He reached down and bunched her dress in his hand, then roughly shoved the hem up to her belly. The hell with what he should do—telling her about their daughter could wait. His need for Liz couldn’t.

  And neither could she. Her too-thin body writhed beneath him, seeking contact. She’d wrapped her legs around his hips and was driving his pelvis to hers.

  “Birth control?” he said, surprised to hear his voice shake.

  “Do you have a condom?” Her breath caressed his skin as she spoke.

  “Hell, yes.” He dug around for his jeans, found a packet in his wallet. Her eyes flickered, her gaze sliding off to the side. She was worried about something but obviously wasn’t sharing. Her fiancé? Their past? Fuck thinking. She could tally up her regrets later.

  He kissed her again, and she became a wild thing, frenzied, mindless. She clawed and bit at him, sobbing and panting at the same time. This was not the sweet, innocent girl with the long silky red hair he’d once made love to. The woman below him was wanton, hungry, desperate—

  Desperate?

  He pulled away from her. There did seem to exist a certain desperation to her movements, to the harshness of her breath. This desperation seemed to hold in it a layer of emotional agony. A certain vulnerability he hadn’t seen in Liz since…

  He focused his gaze on her face, enthralled with the way her eyes met his. Then she rolled her head to the opposite side, cutting off their connection.

  But not before he saw the hooded expression she’d tried to hide. That desperation she’d exhibited had been there for a reason, and he had a feeling he knew what the reason had been.

  Him.

  After all these years, could Liz still have feelings?

  More to the point—if she did, how would that make him feel?

  Hunter stroked Liz’s hair from the side of her face, staring her as she gazed vacantly at the wall. He wasn’t going to sleep with her at this moment—they needed to discuss what was happening, acknowledge the spark that still seemed to exist between them. And decide what they’d do about that spark. After that, together they would figure out what to do about Abbie.

  Thirteen years ago, he’d fucked up Liz’s life as she’d fucked up his. He’d even ended up hating her. But now a chance existed to put everything right again—to be together again, to welcome Abbie into their lives.

  “We need to talk.” He cupped her hand in his and lightly kissed her palm.

  “About what?” she asked, her gaze still averted.

  “About what happened here between us. And about why I’m here.”

  She pressed her lips together, tight, and squeezed her eyes shut. “If we’re not going to fuck, I need to use the bathroom,” she said, untangling her limbs from his. She stood, and with her back to him, tugged her dress down.

  Hunter rested his eyes for a moment, letting thoughts drift in and out. No, they wouldn’t fuck. Not today, at any rate. Yeah, he loved sex, but not when the people involved weren’t on the same plane. And he was damned sure neither he nor Liz knew what plane they were on or if they were even in the same damned universe at the moment.

  When he opened his eyes, she was gone. He stood and strode to the door. Sticking his head around the doorjamb, he looked down the hall, into the bathroom. When he noticed the room was empty, he cast a glance down the staircase.

  Liz was at the bottom of the stairs, a pair of heels dangling from one hand and her purse in the other.

  What the hell? She hadn’t left the bed to use the bathroom, as she’d said. She looked like she was taking off. Ditching him. Guess he’d been wrong about her having residual feelings for him.

  “What are you doing? Sneaking out?” he said loudly, flattening his tone.

  She jerked around, but didn’t meet his gaze. “Look, the almost-sex was great, but I’m going back to Marin.”

  “To your fiancé.”

  “Yes, back to my fiancé.”

  “The same fiancé you almost cheated on with me not five minutes ago.”

  Liz shook her head, her auburn hair flowing. He wondered why she’d dyed it. She looked…normal, somehow, without her red hair. As if she were missing her fire.

  “I don’t do cheating,” she said, dully. “I didn’t cheat.”

  He took another step down on the stairs. “I get it. You aren’t married. I won’t sleep with married women, anyway. But you are in a relationship, so tell me, what do you call what we did up in your bedroom? You had me get a condom out and ready. You consider that not almost cheating?”

  Liz’s grip tightened on her purse strap, her knuckles going white. “Gerald and I have an understanding. He has his fun, I have mine. Works out well that way.”

  “Sounds like a shitty way to have a relationship, if you ask me.”

  “I didn’t ask for your opinion.” Liz’s lips thinned and her shoulders went straight.

  He reached the bottom step, almost to her, and asked, “Do you love him?” Funny how he felt like a ten-ton iron gate just slammed shut over his heart.

  Her eyelids fluttered shut. A muscle in her jaw jumped. “I don’t have room in my life for love.”

  “That’s bullshit. Everyone has room in their life for love.” He slid forward, moving quietly on bare feet. Another step or two and he’d be close enough to touch her. To grab her arm.

  And then what?

  She opened her eyes and gave her head a quick shake. “Not me. Love’s messy and painful. I’ve arranged my life so I don’t ever have to experience it again. Love isn’t worth it.”

  “Love isn’t worth what, Lizzie?”

  Liz turned her head to stare at him with dead eyes—eyes devoid of the passion he’d seen earlier. Empty of the excitement for life he’d once seen in her but that had been absent for so long.

  “Love isn’t worth the pain.” She turned then, and strode to the door. Pulling it open, she said over her shoulder, “Thanks for the almost-sex. Make sure you lock up when you leave.”

  Frustration pitched over him. His hands curled into fists and his skin seemed to have grown a size too small. At the very least, he wouldn’t let her leave without saying why he’d come in the first place.

  “I’m in Meadowview for a reason. I had to find you. Had to tell you—” He swallowed, then worked his jaw, pushing the words out through harsh and tight vocal cords. “She found us, Lizzie.”

  * * *

  Liz froze mid-step, swallowing hard. With achingly slow movements, she bent at the waist and leaned her forehead against the open door, fighting the urge to vomit. “Who? Who found us?” she asked. But she knew.

  Oh, God, she knew.

  “Our daughter.”

  She couldn’t help it—she winced. Trembled. Her body sagged, as if her knees were unable to hold her weight. “Stop,” she whispered.

  But Hunter pushed on. “She wants to meet us. She’ll come here, to Meadowview. All we have to do is say when.”

  Liz worked a few breaths as she banged her head against the door. “But I don’t want to meet her. I don’t want anything to do with her.” Her voice sounded hollow in her ears.

  “I don’t get it,” he said harshly. “I know hearing our daughter found us has to be as big a surprise for you as it was for me. But why wouldn’t you want to meet her?”

  “I don’t know how you found her, or even why you looked,” she managed to get out. “But this is your issue, not mine.”

  “You don’t understand. I need you.”

  “And I needed you.” Tears filled her eyes but she managed to lace venom in h
er words as she turned around and glared at Hunter. “Where were you when I needed you? Where were you? I had her alone, Hunter. She and I were all alone.”

  “What are you talking about? You’re the one who—”

  “You can’t just waltz back into people’s lives and expect everything to be fine. You don’t need me for this. Meet her on your own time, and keep me the hell out of it.”

  “She won’t see me without you. That’s why I need you. She wants to meet her mother.”

  Liz willed the clouds to come. The merciful clouds that filled her mind and took her away from reality, to a time and place where everything was good and happy and pain-free.

  A place that didn’t exist.

  Funny, how every time she wanted to remain in reality, those damned clouds would take her over, but when she wanted to escape her mind wouldn’t let her drift off.

  Raising her chin, she gathered the last little bit of strength she had left and looked Hunter full on, shooting daggers at him with her eyes.

  “Then I guess you’re screwed, Hunter,” she snapped. “Because there’s no way in hell I ever want to see our child again.” She strode out the door and slammed it behind her, leaving Hunter and her past behind. Forever.

  * * *

  Five minutes later, taking the curves on the highway headed out of Meadowview much too fast in Gerald’s Mercedes SL, Liz still shook from her encounter. Damn Hunter Thorne. Damn all the destruction he’d brought to her life.

  And especially damn him for making Hope a reality.

  Hope.

  She’d named their precious little redheaded baby Hope. For nearly nine months she’d hoped the baby would make everything right again. Hoped her mother would stop drinking. Hoped she and Hunter would marry and raise their baby together.

  So what if they were only in high school? They’d both been hard workers, smart, and motivated. Meadowview High had offered a program for students with babies. They would have been together no matter how much their parents had disapproved. She’d been able to hide the pregnancy at school and in town, but wouldn’t have been ashamed to be carrying Hunter’s baby.

  Then, right after summer vacation started, a little over six months into her pregnancy, her mother had sent her to live with her aunt and cousin in Sacramento. For two months, Liz had called and written Hunter, but he’d never returned her phone calls or emails. She’d even resorted to mailing him letters. He’d been too busy dating the new head cheerleader, she recalled, a bitter taste filling her mouth. Her mother had informed her that Courtney Waller had taken over Liz’s role as head cheerleader, and apparently had taken over Hunter, too.

  The day Hope arrived in the world, almost a month early, Liz’s mother had shown up at the hospital with adoption papers. A loving family wanted the baby, her mother had said. Liz needed to do what was best for the baby.

  There had been no sign of Hunter.

  Liz had refused to believe Hunter had abandoned their baby. She’d clung to Hope, spilling tears over the infant’s swaddling blanket, until her mother shoved the adoption contract in front of her face.

  Hunter’s signature had been clear and bold on the bottom of the paper. He’d given their baby away without even meeting Hope.

  Blinded by a sudden onslaught of tears, Liz pulled the car off the highway and slammed on the brakes. A cloud of red dust billowed around the car. Years had passed since she’d cried over the mistake she’d made. The biggest mistake of her life. She wiped her face, noticing the faint musky scent that still clung to her. A reminder of the fact that she’d just had her hands all over Hunter Thorne’s near-naked body.

  She smacked the steering wheel. Why the hell had she tried to seduce Hunter? The sensation of having such power over him had hit her and she’d clung tight, unwilling to relinquish control.

  When she’d pulled away from him she’d been in power—after all those years, she had finally regained the upper hand. This time Hunter hadn’t left her wanting and waiting. She’d done it to him.

  Yet hearing him whisper her name, the special name he’d called her when they were young and in love…Lizzie…had numbed her mind to the point where she’d lost all control. God, she’d almost had sex with him. Until she remembered the heartbreak.

  And until he brought up Hope.

  Hell.

  She slammed her forehead against the steering wheel. How had her life gone from tolerable to totally messed up in less than half a day? She’d worked for years to achieve the goal of marrying a man like Gerald. Someone with power, money, and prestige. When she became Mrs. Gerald Callahan, no one would ever look down on her again. The small-minded biddies of Meadowview and all like them could kiss her skinny ass.

  Gerald hadn’t minded that she’d come to him with a less than stellar past. That her Master’s degree in English Lit had come by way of UC Berkeley via scholarships, not an Ivy League school. That her mother was a drunk and her father non-existent. He’d helped her create a paper trail that led to Elizabeth Picard. Helped her erase Liz Pritchard.

  She’d held only one tidbit of information back from Gerald when he asked her to share her past: that she’d once had a child she’d given up for adoption. Gerald would put up with a variety of baggage from her, but not that.

  Not the news of a child out there somewhere in the world.

  Children meant emotional entanglements. And there’d be no emotional entanglements in Gerald Callahan’s life. Which had been fine by Liz. Over the years, piece by piece, she’d eradicated all emotional connections.

  She’d grown hella good at it.

  She struggled with her purse, searching for her cell phone. After fumbling with numb fingers, she managed to press the right buttons. Once connected to Michelle, she set about ordering the removal of all the contents of the house.

  “Are you sure you don’t want any of your stuff?” Michelle asked.

  “Everything. I’m not coming back. Ever. Have your crew take the contents of the house to the dump. There’s—” A sob choked her. She cleared her throat and continued hoarsely. “There’s a padlocked closet in the attic. Please make certain the contents are completely destroyed. Burned, sent to the dump, I don’t care. Just…just get everything out.”

  “It may take me a while to get a crew together. A week or two,” Michelle said. “Liz, are you sure you want everything taken to the dump? You don’t want to save anything?”

  Her grip on the steering wheel tightened until a muscle twitched in her hand. “Some memories are meant to be destroyed. Get rid of it all.”

  Hanging up, she sat in silence, staring out the window at the cedar trees, their branches gently waving in the light summer breeze. What now? She felt too raw to deal with being Elizabeth Picard, the person she’d have to be the minute she stepped inside the mansion in Marin.

  Movement behind her caught her attention. A Lexus SUV had pulled up behind her and a man was getting out of the car, headed for her driver’s side window. It took her a moment before she recognized the familiar form of Theo Courant. Relief sent her bones sagging. She wasn’t sure what she would have done if it had been Hunter…run into the woods, maybe?

  She rolled down her window as Theo approached.

  “Figured that was you,” he said, bracing both hands on the window casement and leaning down, giving her a bright grin. “Heard you were back.”

  “Was back,” she corrected. “I’m taking off again. Headed down the hill to Marin.”

  “To the fiancé?”

  She nodded.

  “Fresh start?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Stay for a few hours. Marin and your new life can wait. We’re throwing a big party down at the river, part of a fundraiser Michelle and Dan are organizing. I’m headed there now.” Theo reached through the open window and ruffled her hair. “You’ll have fun. Beer, wine, food. Some of us might even sneak away and go skinny dipping.”

  She couldn’t help it. She grinned. “It would be fun…”

&n
bsp; “C’mon,” Theo said, backing up and tugging open her car door. “Leave the car—nothing will happen to it. I’ll drive you and bring you back in a couple of hours.”

  Saying no to Theo was the equivalent of trying to swim upstream in a raging river. Not altogether possible. But did she really want to refuse his invitation? Saying goodbye to Meadowview meant leaving her past behind which was a good thing in her mind, but it also meant never swimming in the Maidu River again. Never feeling the warmth of granite boulders underneath her feet or the sway of the gentle current against her skin, never hearing the sound of the swallows and warblers overhead. Never catching a whiff of the unique blend of water and earth and rock and fern.

  She’d miss the river.

  Was that all she’d miss?

  Ignoring the question echoing around in her mind, she instead asked, “Who will be there?”

  Theo tugged at her elbow. “Does it matter? Me. Michelle and Dan. Jack and Chessie Gibson, maybe. Others from town.”

  She exited the car but still didn’t step forward. Theo examined her with thoughtful eyes.

  “You saw Hunter.”

  Swallowing, she nodded.

  “And now you’re freaked out, remembering the past.”

  A nod.

  “Christ, Liz, you’ve held your chin up for years, and suddenly you wimp out because you ran into that asswipe? That’s not like you. Buck up and come with me to the party at the river. Do what you always do.”

  “What do I always do?” she asked, unsure if she wanted to hear the answer.

  “Look at the world like you’re saying ‘Fuck you’ and go for what you want. Besides…” Theo’s voice had been full of tension but settled into a gentle hush. “Maybe it’s time you realized that half your issues with the town come from your own mind. Yeah, a few jerks held judgment over you—and maybe still do—but Meadowview is more than those people. It’s a community, stitched together like a patchwork quilt. We’re all connected. You’re one of us.”